The University Diaries : You know what really grinds my gears...?

Dear Diary,

I have had a really shit week and I need to vent. So here we go my friends. Life really is far from lollipops and unicorn farts right now. Let's take it from the top.

Gear Grind One: I STILL DON'T HAVE MY FUCKING LOAN. Considering it was supposed to arrive on 20th September, and I have given the Student Loan Company far more of my time than I ever intended to, for no money to materialize is pretty god damn infuriating. What REALLY gets to me, beyond anything, is their ambivalence towards this situation they've dropped me in and expected to swim. It's shark-infested waters up in here. They don't know me though. I'm a pretty good swimmer and I'll happily punch a shark in the face. Or a dolphin if I have to - did you see that book by The Oatmeal? You should.

My point? They picked the wrong girl to mess with. I wrote a pretty fantastic complaint email following a rage inducing phone call with their call center drones. I have absolutely NO idea how they expect to be able to treat their customers with such indifference to a really, really unnecessary stress.

They want another 10 days? Hell NO. You've had since MAY to get your shit straight. I need MY money. NOW.

If I get further late fees and any negative hits on my credit report, I'm going to the Financial Ombudsman. Oh yes. Shit is getting real.

Gear Grind Two: On Wednesday my house was effectively broken into. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life, and that's saying a lot. I wasn't even supposed to be home. I was sleeping off a migraine, when I should have been in a lecture. Thank god I was home. Oh my god... It was about 11.30am and I was in a half-sleep state when I heard knocking on the front door. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not, but either way I didn't want to see anyone so I ignored it and felt confident this person would go away. 

He didn't. He let himself into my house. I heard the door open and within a second I was flying down the stairs screaming and shouting as loud as I could, before lunging at the door and slamming it shut. 

Adrenaline had taken over and I entered into a state of complete panic. The intruder protested at my slamming the door in his face, claiming to be a gas safety inspector. Bollocks. I've seen too many films to know that line. As if I was going to let this 6ft 6" tall, 6ft wide man into my house. I had NO IDEA who he was. The letting agency, which I will name and shame as The Letting Shop, had not told me anyone was coming so there was no question in my mind at that point that this person was here with malicious intentions. 

To cut a long story short, I called The Letting Shop and it turned out they had sent him. Ok, that's not a problem. What the problem is, is that a) they gave him a goddamn key and b) I have explicitly told them that under NO CIRCUMSTANCE is anyone to let themselves into my house. Ever. Why? Because of Lily. 

I was/am furious. It's stirred up the source of my OCD and thrown in some flashbacks for good measure. This is the last thing I need right now. I don't know if I've talked about this before, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself. Basically, when I was 11 my parents separated and my father lost his mind. He was living in a flat, and decided for some reason to try to break in to our house and kill us. For some reason, I was already downstairs with Millie when I saw the back door latch being forced up and down. I froze, and held Millie so close to me so she wouldn't move or bark. Once the moving stopped I quickly went upstairs and told mum. From that night, I was FIXED on the locks, and protecting Millie. 

I'm working hard to try and make this nothing more than a set-back, but the escalation in anxiety and 'active symptoms' is just something I really can't believe is happening to me again. I can only control so much. It's utterly exhausting and terrifying. Every noise, every shadow, every smell I don't recognise, I'm in a state of constant 'readiness' and hyper-vigilance.

Gear Grind Three: I'm really struggling to cope with four modules. There is so much information and I can't separate it out in my busy brain. I get confused so easily and generally exhausted by it all. I'm sure it'll come with practice but I just feel like a total incompetent idiot right now... :( 

So those are my three major gear grinders this week... In other news: I lost the USSU election to an experienced competitor. I have no doubt that she will do an amazing job and I'm looking forward to meeting her and talking out some issues. It was a great experience and I've learned a lot. I had some lovely messages and I'm really excited to be a part of the Time To Change Campaign with the university so it's not been a total bust by any stretch! I will run again next year for sure.

I am aware that the blog is very one-dimensional at the moment and I can only apologise for that. Until I have the funds to buy new products, reviews and recipes are on hold. I am desperate to get to The Body Shop and Lush, and get my baking on following The Great British Bake Off being so darn inspiring. I'm also on the lookout for new frames for my glasses and any cool stationary! 

You might also have noticed that I have two new advertisers on my sidebar: Cybercandy and Approved Foods. For students that are reading, I really recommend Approved Foods. They are a vast resource of money-saving awesomeness! Of course, Cybercandy are just as amazeballs and I'm still waiting for their Oreo stocks to perk up! 

What would you like me to write about next? :) leave me a comment! 

Thank you so much for your support. I love you guys!


  1. Hope you get your loan through soon!!
    That is not on strangers being allowed to be able to let themselves into your home!! How scary!!

    1. Thank you! So do I!! I'm looking forward to their response to my complaint too.. That'll make for a good read I'm sure. I'm going to write to my letting agency about the key situation, it's far from unacceptable. God it was terrifying! :(

  2. I'm so sorry to read all this! Uni life really isnt that great sometimes, i am also STILL waiting for my loan,i refuse to spend more money on phonecalls so have also sent many complaint letters!I hope you get yours soon! Awful about the break in,so lucky/not lucky you were in though! I'm in my last year and also struggling already lets hope it gets easier! xx

    1. It's been a rough introduction that's for sure, but Sussex are fantastic and I feel very supported. I'm so, so sorry you're having the same problem!!!! God :( Fingers crossed we get it sorted this week eh! Xxx

  3. The multiple modules thing gets easier as you adjust to it.It won't help that you're under so much other stress right now. *big hugs*. I hope things get easier. And yay for new advertisers, your blog is really doing awesome [because it is awesome ofc :)]

    1. That's exactly what my academic adviser said. Just got to keep at it and in touch with the relevant people so if I do fall behind or something they'll know why. I can't believe it's almost a year since I started this blog, no idea how I did without it now! :) wish I had your talent!! Lots of love xx


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