The University Diaries : Keep Calm and Carry On

Dear Diary,

It's Friday once again and I'm very happy about that fact. This week has been incredibly draining and I can't wait to catch up on some rest.

Do I have my loans? Nope. I don't think we're anywhere close to a resolution yet either. I am sure the student loan company are just making it worse every day. I have pages upon pages of frantically written notes of he said, she said and reference numbers and passwords that I don't know what's for what anymore. All of that and we're not getting any closer to a resolution. This is ridiculous, unacceptable and beyond infuriating so I called the complaint line. After 25 minutes on hold - don't get me started on that - I spoke to a nice enough call handler who seems to have come up with a much more logical plan to solve this issue. The downer is I have to wait 10 working days to see if it's actually gone through this time.

Of course, I'm incredibly stressed about this plus the workload of my modules getting heavier. I can still follow it all ok so I'm not spending hours upon hours in my textbooks just yet. But money stress is awful and the need for a release is very strong now. Of course, I'm committed to not being an asshole so options xyz just aren't options. I have to sit on the sofa with Lily and the boyfriend and just deal with the feelings of anger and powerlessness without it spilling over into destructive habits.

I might not be in control of my finances right now but I can control my actions and reactions. I can choose to set a positive example and show that even with all this crap going on, and the immense desire for that release from alcohol, drugs or self-harming behaviors, you can find other ways to cope. Yes, I am crying and sleeping a lot but neither of those are bad things. I would be making the situation far worse by diving into a bottle.

Right. Let's keep this positive. What other good stuff has happened this week?

Yesterday I had a hugely successful session in my Molecular Biology lab practical session! Considering I'd never been in a lab like this before I was absolutely shocked to see how well my DNA and RNA picture came out! We were working with E. coli - it had the evil bred out, but still smelt awful! I had to leave the lab a couple of times to get some fresh air and cool my anxiety levels down. It gets very stuffy in the lab room and that never fails to trigger my panic. I'm just thankful I didn't have issues with my blood pressure crashing.

It was a hell of an afternoon, having spent 12-1pm in lecture, I then worked from 1.30pm to 5pm on my own. Not ideal but I guess it worked out better than those that were in teams of two or three! I absolutely loved being in lab and can't wait for our next session!! It's so much fun and there were 5(?) helpful PhD students in red lab coats - I'm working on a Butlins joke - roaming the benches to give us a hand with the equipment or measurement confusions! Maybe with our £9k a year fees they can invest in an air-conditioner or something though.... HINT! ;)

On Tuesday we were served with our first open book maths test. That was a painful 4pm to 6pm slot. We had 25 questions and multiple choice answers. I was already tired, with it being 4pm and definitely home-time, so I was almost convinced I would get pulled up to answer for my failings when the result came through. Nope! By some MIRACLE I bagged 84%. It doesn't count for anything but it gives me some sort of hope for the real things later on. Plus the tutor offered 1-1 help with maths which is super kind of him. Practice, practice, practice. Christ I hate maths so much.

I also bought an absolutely beautiful vintage coat from Kate and Aud at the market that morning. I had to have it. I saw another woman eyeing it up after I'd put it back on the railing ad was pleading to the fashion gods that she'd leave it there so I could have it! Sure-fire sign I needed it. For £50 I have my first genuine piece of 60's amazing-ness. Excellent piece of retail therapy right there. I love the ladies that run the stall and absolutely cannot wait to visit their shop!

I also discovered that the Tuesday market has a greengrocers come and pitch up for the day. They sell the most beautiful produce for an absolute frikking steal. Sainsbury's just lost my custom.

Tuesday's are a good day on campus!

I guess the most exciting news I can finally tell you about - I think?! - is that I am running for Disabled Students' Representative Officer in next week's Student's Union elections! Voting starts on Monday morning and I've never been so scared. I like to think I know my target audience enough to realise online campaigning would be most effective but I still have flyers at the ready and need to get my talk on.

I'm working on a campaign-type post that will be released Monday. For the week of 7th to 11th the comments section will be relaxed to allow visitors to ask questions anonymously, but once elections are over I will revert back to how we currently roll. Usual ground rules will apply, so any hate will be booted out as quickly as possible. If I suspect it to be coming from a university-source I will report it.

That's about all I think.... other than today marks exactly one month since I became a Brighton-girl! I can't believe how scared I was of my relationship disintegrating like it had in the past. If anything I think we're stronger now because of all the different problems we've had to work through and make decisions together. Lily is a very happy little lady and slowly learning the the hallways are connected and mummy and daddy don't just magically appear out of the ether! She's eating like an absolute trooper so that's a sure sign she's busy on neighborhood watch during her waking hours!

1 comment

  1. Well done on another week, sounds like an awesome course! The lab work sounds so interesting I would love to hear more about that. Well done on the maths test too, I would have freaked out for sure, your pass mark is awesome!
    YAY glad you are settling in, we will have to go for a coffee soon once things calm down for you and you settle into uni life, Carrie is just around the corner too.
    Good luck with the campaign! Keep us updated :)

    Lyndsay | Fizzy Peaches


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